Whinging It

For a long time, I changed the radio station every time a song came on with a robot voice in protest of what I saw as a Milli Vanilli-style slippery slope of idolizing artists who cannot actually sing.  An exception was made, of course, for “Mr. Roboto” because it was fully aware of its robot status.

The robot voice has become too pervasive, though.  I can no longer skip to the next station; I would be forced to turn my radio off altogether and/or get my shit together and burn a CD or two for the car.

Both of those options are completely unacceptable.

However! I have devised a solution to make my peace with the robot voice: Pretend they are actual robots singing.  In my mind, pretty much any current song is sung by the creepy robot band at Chucke E. Cheese.  True, it does make Ke$ha* considerably less sexy, but them’s the breaks.

*I resisted even liking Ke$ha for awhile because of her dollar sign “S,” but could not rationally ban her altogether because of a previous rule that allowed for nonsensical symbols in artist’s names (Prince), and also because her songs are too catchy.

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I forgot to update y’all when this actually happened a bunch of weeks ago, but predictably, I have quit Crossfit.  There are several reasons why, and surprisingly, none of them is that it was too hard.  I know.  I’m as surprised as you.

Reasons I discontinued Crossfit ridiculousness:

1. Expense.  It was really pretty ridiculous.
2. Injury.  While I kind of respect their devil-may-care attitude about general gym safety, I was working out in order to get stronger so that I get fewer headaches.  The lifts we were regularly doing were managing to strengthen the muscles that are already strong in my body while ignoring those that were weak.  (Due to pure genetics, I have freakishly strong biceps and have to compensate.)
3. Weird Misogyny.  I didn’t so much mind being the only woman most days in my class.  The guys were cool and the male instructors were awesome about expectations.  The other women did tend to be that girl who doesn’t like other girls, though, which is always a drag.  It’s not like I wanted to be friends with any of them just because we’re all female, but show a little solidarity.

   Additionally, my gym had a large board where they recorded all of the times and places of various competitions that were always happening with no separate categories for males and females.  On the one hand, I think it’s kind of great to assume we’re all on the same physical playing field.  On the other, that’s bullshit and we all know it.  And while women do excel physically in areas where men don’t, there weren’t any competitions geared toward pain endurance or knowing how to stop pushing oneself before something breaks.  This meant that there were very few women who made it on the board of awesomeness, and that sucks.

So, I still cannot do a pull-up and now no longer have access to a pull-up place to practice.  I’m okay with it, though.  I find I have very little use for the pull-up in my everyday life.

Because all three of you are clamoring to see it….

Here’s the before:

And after:

We are fans of Kasia the wonder-haircutter.

I feel strongly that the Internets are going to be the downfall of modern society.

That doesn’t stop me from having a blog or anything.  Just because I know something will cause the demise of modern life doesn’t mean it isn’t fun in the meantime.  Do we think the Roman empire would’ve given up their beautifully painted lead plates if they had known they were making them all stupider?  No they would not.  They would have gloried in getting stupid while staying classy.

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The Internets have made me angry a lot lately.  It seems the more informed I am, the more pissed off I get.  I’m extremely irritated with my President’s choice to defend “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in court.  I’m heartbroken for all of the gay teenagers who don’t have lives worth living and then all the more mad at those who use their undeniable pain as proof that gayness is a cause for suicide.  I am distraught over the ignorance that seemingly intelligent people spout in a spirit of “respect” and “civility.”

Specifically: I lost my shit yesterday at this post. If you do not want to read said post, it’s essentially the writing of a conservative Christian (self-titled) mother regarding how she worries her son’s lesbian teacher goes against her (the mother’s) family’s values.  Namely, the mom is concerned that the teacher might mention her partner in passing, because that would be discussing her sexuality, and the mom does not believe in the lifestyle of homosexuals.  Nevermind that a straight teacher can mention his/her heterosexual spouse, and that in no way denotes sex or sexual orientation.  When gay people talk about their spouses, it’s only about sex, as there aren’t real relationships there.*

Lord, please help this woman’s children never be exposed to a Judd Apatow movie.  They may never recover from the shock.

I know that, in the long run, I am always grateful for hard conversations around gayness, as people need the opportunity to think.  It’s just hard sometimes in the moment when it seems there’s some sort of allowance for bigoted statements, as long as they’re directed at homosexuality.  And sometimes when things are put out in the world in the spirit of discussion, it can still really, really hurt.  But apparently if one is touted as Christian, one can say horrible things if it’s in a polite voice.  And if voices get raised against Christians, it is labeled as “attacking.”  Also, education is overrated and wallowing in misinformation is an admirable pastime.

I just got really upset by the whole thing.

I know I should look away to save my sanity and my blood pressure.  I know this.  When I stumble across something with this much potential for harm, I should mosey on by.  But I don’t, and then the hurt goes too deep sometimes.  In the faceless writings of strangers I think I see former friends and self-righteous relatives, and I take it personally that someone would choose to not get to know me because of whom I love.

I know I’m a broken record.  Sometimes I just can’t turn off the hifi when I get stuck like this.

*WHY isn’t there a sarcasm font?  WHY?

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In other news, I got my hair all cut off and I heart it.  I have finally recovered from the disastrous post-breakup Carol Brady hair episode of 1995.

Confidential to Kasia: You rock.

The OED welcomed this monster hybrid of a word into its fold this week.

I weep.

Happily, they are also including “turducken.”

1. Dude sunbathing at street cafe wearing only a fig leaf (thankfully in a strategic place).

2. Girl wearing beanie with cat ears while driving truck with bedazzled rear-view mirrors and giant shark fin constructed in the truck’s bed.

3. Two old guys smoking pot on the street.

Methinks it must be almost time for Burning Man.  I wish the desert-goers well.