I generally abhor popular country music. I mean, there are crossover pop artists I like, and I definitely had a line-dancing phase at the local country bar when I was in college. But as a genre, I find it a little despicable that there is a school of music that celebrates ignorance, lauds inequalities between the sexes, and takes pride in blind devotion to God and country.
(We must now take a moment to note that I have nothing against God or country; I love both, but country music tends to take its adoration to extremes. If you don’t love God or country without reservation, you’re going straight to hell. Or Canada. The singers see no distinction.)
I do have childhood soft spots for country singers of yore. If my dad had it on 8-track, I’m a devotee. I don’t necessarily recognize The Statler Brothers, The Oak Ridge Boys or Tom T. Hall as the great artists of their time, but it can be said of Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn and Dolly Parton that they were the best at what they did. (Do not cast shade on Dolly Parton.)
Of all of the country singers I adored from days gone by, though, no one held a candle to Kenny Rogers. Perhaps my love of Kenny is entirely based in a fond memory I have of singing “The Gambler” with my dad, but Kenny, in my book, was awesome.
I’ll admit it was a blow to realize, after listening carefully to the lyrics, that the Gambler DIES, but it didn’t slow me down that much in my Kenny love. As a child, I recognized that he was humorous — he was prone to songs with a silly lyric or two, and I liked that about him. I mean, in “You Picked a Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille,” it follows up with the witty “Four hundred children and a crop in the field.”
As a kid, I found that hilarious that anyone would have four hundred children. As an adult, I thought it delightful that the listener can see what Lucille had to put up with, with her man prone to such egregious hyperboles. If he’s going to exaggerate to such great lengths, he must’ve been hard to live with. Good for you, Lucille! You leave that man!
But then.
But then the other day I totally randomly stumbled upon the lyrics to “Lucille,” and he’s talking about their four HUNGRY children.
Well now Lucille’s just a bitch. And that song’s not even the least bit funny.
Awesome.
I feel like I’m generally pretty good with lyrics, although there are times, like in Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” – I always thought the line was “someone to be your friend, someone who cares” when really it was “someone to hear your prayers, someone who cares”. Hey, it’s an honest mistake – MY own personal Jesus WOULD be my friend.
I also have a friend in college who was surprised to learn that Jimmy Buffet was in fact looking for his “lost shaker of salt” and not his “lost shiggersaw”. She was confused because she had no idea what a shiggersaw was, and the shaker of salt made so much more sense…
OMG. Have you seen “9 to 5″ recently? TOTALLY STANDS THE TEST OF TIME. Dolly’s lyrics and everything.
Okay. Now I need to go find the theme song on iTunes.
I used to sing “four hundred children”, too! Unfortunately, I think someone in my family corrected me at some point. I did know that the children were hungry and not overbred, but I still sang it that way.
Laughing about being godless in Canada, of course I am a fan for all the reasons that a pinko would be ;)
Btw, Jacquelyn…I have seen it recently and totally agree. Great performances by all, 9 to 5 is one of the best 80’s comedies out there.
I always sing “four hundred children” and because I was a bit of a math nerd, I can remember trying to figure out how many geese they would need at grandma’s house for more feather beds for all those children, because I loved John Denver as much as Kenny.
Amber – I think Personal Jesus IS your friend. Perfect sense.
Jacquelyn – Of COURSE I’ve seen it recently and it really did stand the test of time. Rah for Dolly!
DeAnna – Stupid correcting family ruining the childhood fun.
Lisa – Of course you did, and John Denver rules all.